Scandal: No Norwegians Have Ever Been Selected Astronauts

NASA NorwayNorway has become NASA sponsor in a desperate attempt to influence the space agency to select a Norwegian to become astronaut.

Norwegians think it is a scandal that Norway has not had a single astronaut. This despite the fact that Norwegians were the first Europeans who discovered America, first to reach the South Pole, first through the Northwest Passage, first to sail across the Pacific on a balsa raft – and not least – first to appoint a female submarine captain .

A number of nations have had one or more astronauts (in alphabetical order): Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, China, England, Netherlands, Germany, Hungary, India, Iran, Israel, Italy, Japan, South Korea , Malaysia, Mexico, Pakistan, Peru, Poland, Saudi Arabia, Slovakia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland and Vietnam – and about 400 U.S. citizens have had the great honor. In addition, there are 14 nations that have had cosmonauts, and ten eccentric Frenchmen have become spationauts.

The fact that the Netherlands is on the list, and not Norway, is annoying for two reasons: Firstly, that the ‘Netherlands’ starts with the letter ‘N’, and secondly that it is the nation on the planet that is localized furthest from space.

As it is written in the song ‘The Norwegian Sailor’ by national poet Bjørnson: ‘- where vessels can float, he is always the first’. Unfortunately, this does not apply for vessels floating through space in search of new worlds, and it appears that Norwegians will be the very last to be selected to leave Planet Earth.

The situation is so sad that the Swedish physicist and former European Space Agency astronaut Christer Fuglesang, who happens to have a Norwegian father, almost is granted Norwegian citizenship.

Why Norwegians Should be Selected NASA Astronauts

  1. Norwegians are accustomed to living in complete darkness and solitude through six months of Polar nights
  2. Most Norwegians live extremely far from the nearest neighbor
  3. Norwegians have no need for lengthy conversations
  4. Norwegians are quiet and relaxed with their feet firmly planted on the ground (this should be interpreted positively, although a trip into space involves weightlessness)
  5. Norwegians love dried fish and other foods with infinite shelf life
  6. Norwegians will not require any payment; a trip into space is considered a holiday

Please answer the following question (the answer will be handed over to NASA by ThorNews):

Text by: Thor Lanesskog, Thor News

Original photo by: NASA, illustration by ThorNews

Source: NASA

Categories: Quirky

5 replies

  1. Hilarious… I mean, shocking! 😉

  2. It is shocking considering the number of World Class, well educated, experts your nation has.
    In the mean time, take heart Norway, I’m sure someone with a Norwegian background has already been in Space, one way or another!

  3. Though born in the US, I believe that Sally Ride was of Norwegian-American descent. I met her at an event in DC in the mid 1980s and she commented that she carried a small Norwegian flag with her on her trips to space.

  4. “first to sail across the Pacific on a balsa raft”
    Are you sure about that?

    The whole point of said “balsa raft” was to prove how the original settlers crossed the Pacific.

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